Tuesday, May 10, 2011

New Photos From Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 1

Here are some new stills from the upcoming first part of the final chapter of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.

Now, if you are a frequent reader of this site, you probably know that hardly any of us bots here care for Twilight, especially me. So, you may be asking yourself, “Arse-bot – if that is your real name (spoiler alert: it’s not.) – why do you continue to post this stuff if you have so much hatred for this series and everything to do with it?” Well, the answer is simple: I find pleasure in belittling this travesty of a “vampire”/”werewolf”/mopey girl love story and quenching myself on the tears of those who try to defend it.

That being said, if I were to ever see an installment of this series in theaters, it would be this one. If for no other reason than to see how the studio handles Edward *&$#ing Bella into a sex-coma and knocking her up, giving her a c-section with his teeth, and then having Jacob turn into a pedophile and falling in love with their child (a transformation that, if you ask me, is much more convincing).

By now, if you’re reading this and are a Twilight fan, I’m sure you’re worked up into a frenzy and are about to leave a comment about how “dumb” I am and that you will never be coming back to Big Shiny Robot and that Twilight is an epic love story and blah blah blah blah blah. If you wouldn’t mind doing me one favor before you leave this site forever and erase it from your cache and history just to ensure there was no evidence you were ever even here: Please explain to me why two supernatural beings that could probably have any woman in the world are wasting their time fighting over a mopey 17 year old girl? I mean, if I was a 100+ year old vampire I think my taste in women may have grown past, “You know what I look for in a woman? I want her to be young, immature, super clingy and depressed as all hell with a shit-ton of emotional baggage.”